Went to the depths of Kent last night to pick up a word processor I'd bought on ebay.  Didn't get home until 9.30pm, but it was well worth it - a really nice little machine so I can write my books while snuggled up on the sofa with Si watching the telly.  Brought back so many memories of my first wordprocessor which I had while I was at uni - I bought it because I had a habit of leaving my essays til the last minute and then working through the night, when the computer suite at uni was closed.  Jees, the amount of time I've done that!  I'd let RiffRaff, Columbia and Magenta out of their cages from about 9pm, once I'd got home from work, then type throughout the night whilst they played around me and tried to pee on the monitor.  Then they'd go back into their cage at 7am and I'd spend the day in the uni computer suite, sobbing over the computer. 

There's been a load of whoop-ass going on in the cages lately.  Moppet has been bullying Effie (Moppet, who is now 3 times the size of Effie) and Effie now just screams at her whenever she even looks at her wrong.  Baldrick and Mallow have fallen out big time too - Baldrick just keeps pounding on him and Mallow is terrified.  We opened the cage and Mallow sprang out of it like a spider, poor little chap.  He wouldn't leave me and Si alone. Don't know what's going on there, but Mallow's always been a bit scared of Balders.

My phone is playing up while it adjusts to being on a new network, so sorry Ratty if I'm ignoring texts - it's generally because I don't know they're there.  And also, I won't be abl;e to send your birthday pressie today as I broke one about 10 minutes after texting you last night, and I'll have to fix it tonight.  Sorry x

So anyway, it's gay pride this weekend in London.  I won't be going - seems unfair on Si to risk his mates having to see his girlfriend on a gay march, and I doubt my parents would be too impressed as well.

I don't really touch on my sexuality that much (excuse the pun).  This is largely because Si is as straight as an arrow, and although he knows all about my bisexuality he IS straight and therefore doesn't quite fully understand how it is.  That's not to say he isn't supportive, but I worry he'll think I'm going to go off with a woman.  Of course not, but I don't blame him for being unsure - there are no rules for going out with a bi, are there?

As it stands, I love Si.  I am no more going to go off with another woman than I would another man.  Si satisfies me one hundred percent, he is my soul mate and I'm going to be with him forever.  If you were to split my preferences in two, men would have the higher percentage of my lust, and this saucy little ramble is merely a result of it being Gay Pride this weekend and nothing else. It's just got me thinking about the London community. So no, Si, you do not have to wonder if I'm going to be sitting you down for a chat tonight lol. 

Now, that little disclaimer aside. I sometimes feel I'd like to be a little more involved with the gay community.  There's no denying that's part of who I am, and nor would I wish to deny it.  I have liberal sexual appetites, yet am totally devoted and faithful to my man.  If anything, he benefits lol  from my vivid imagination, but I would like to leave Si out of this from henceforth.  He's a private person and I will respect that.

That's not to say that becoming more involved with the lesbian etc community means that I'm out to score.  Far from it.  But so few people understand how you can be devotedly in love with a man but still become aroused but a nice young hottie in a short skirt...it's more about that.  I want to hang out with people who can say; 'Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm like that too.'

Having said that, there are plenty of members of the lesbian community who would turn away from me for not being a full-on dyke.  Tough shit on them really, but you get how it is.  Feel at times cast adrift in the middle.  God, I'm making it sound so serious aren't I?  It isn't.  At the end of the day I've found true love so maybe the whole point is moot. And Si knows I love him.  I don't think he feels threatened if I see a hottie and point her out - it's a pasttime we can both enjoy.

Maybe I should just read some gay literature.  Or write bisexual literature, for peeps like me.  Hear me roar!!!!

Shhhh...lean closer...don't say anything...closer...closer...keep quiet or you'll scare it away...

I have a tan!

Things I have done:

(x) = have done

(X) Snuck out of the house

(X) Got lost in your own city - all the time,man,all the time

(X) Seen a shooting Star

(X) Been to any other countries

( ) Had serious surgery Had my tonsils out but don't suppose that counts

(X) Gone out in public in your pjamas

(X) Kissed a stranger

(X) Hugged a stranger

( ) Been in a fist fight nope- I can run fast

( ) Been arrested

( ) Laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose no,but it does seem to come out of my ears...

(X) Pushed all of the buttons on an elevator

( ) Sworn at your parents

(X) Been in love

(X) Been close to love

( ) Been to a casino

( ) Been skydiving

(X) Skinny Dipped

(X) Skipped school

(X) Seen a therapist

( ) Done the splits

( ) Played spin the bottle

( ) Gotten stitches

(X) Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour

(X) Bitten someone Well, in play...

( ) Been to Niagra Falls

( ) Got Chickenpox

(X) Kissed a member of the opposite sex

( ) Crashed a friend's car

( ) Been to Japan

(X) Ridden in a taxi

(X) Been dumped

(X) Shoplifted

( ) Been Fired

(X) Had a crush on somebody of the same sex

(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back

(X) Gone on a blind date

(X) Lied to a friend

(X) Had a crush on a teacher

( ) Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans

(X) Been to Europe

(X) Slept with a co-worker sorta

( ) Been married

( ) Gotten divorced

( ) Had children

( ) Seen someone die

( ) Had a close friend die

(X) Seen the Rocky HorrorPicture Show love it

x) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) eaten sushi
( ) been skiing/snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
(x) gone to college/university
(x) graduated college/university
( ) fired a gun
(x) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers Im addicted
(x) been intimate with someone of the same gender

I did meet Michael Palin - he was yummy!  I got him to sign my scrapbook, which has a page in homage to him.  Reassuring him I was not some deranged silence of the lambs-esque stalker, he said he'd better take a good look at my face!

I have a new phone - it's soooo cool.  It's a video phone too, so lots of clips of Hobbes nose-deep in yoghurt pots.  Really cool.

Up in the archives again today with my iPod tured up full blast...the music got to me, I couldn't help but shake my rump! Basically, I was listening to 'Born to Hand-Jive' and dancing around the archives like I don't have a care in the world.  That's the song from Grease - I love the bit of music where Sandy and Danny steal the limelight at the competition.  I can sympathise with Sandy _ I was Sandra Dee at school too - a little goody two-shoes.  Then I really did turn into a red-hot sex kitten.  I am her real-life counterpart.

Then I did a samba around the archives, deciding that I felt every-inch a burning temptress!  You know it! Grrrrrr

I just drank abit of cola, and it went down funny and came out of my right ear!

Beat that!

I got some.  Si had a big smile on his face as he met me from work and I jumped him lol.  But he also pointed out one that I'd omitted from my list:

- Brendon Fraser with long hair and a loose, open white shirt (showing off a bronzed chest mmmmm) leading a spirited horse around its paddock in 'George of the Jungle'.

And happy birthday to Lynn!  Old woman!

OK, the top 6 pure sex moments in film...

6) Westley, telling Buttercup 'As you wish' in the 'Princess Bride'.

5) Gerard Way, of 'My Chemical Romance' singing as he carries Helena's coffin down the steps of the church.  Ok, I know it's a music video but it's still hot so it counts!

4)Sarah Michelle Geller seducing and sexually tormenting Ryan Phillipe in 'Cruel Intentions'.

3)Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher making out in 'Dude, Where's My Car?'  I don't know why.  Si despairs.

2) Antonio Banderas dancing in the water fountain in 'Evita'. Mmmmmm.

1) The Phantom singing 'Point of no return' to Christine in 'the Phantom of the Opera'.  Or when he picks up the rose she dropped on the rooftops and he cries.  Either will do.  He can ravish me either way.

This list will be added to if I don't get any tonight.

Simon.  He's so funny, always makes me laughing. He adores the mice - particularly Effie and Tinker, I keep catching him chatting to them and giving them treats.

Beef sarnie.  Chomp.

Hobbes.  Was dreaming last night that we were snuggled up in bed watching Newsradio.  I have a feeling Hobbes isn't destined to become a very ancient rat.  Makes me feel very very sad.  He's not ill, touch wood, but he never seems entirely healthy - always has a spot of red pigment around his eyes/mouth/nose.  And he looks like a tramp.  Simon's taken to calling him after a tennis player (can't remember which one) because his scab on his head is half peeled off and it looks like he's wearing a head band.

Newsradio dvd.  If you can get your hands on a copy, even if you have to order from abroad, do it.  Christ, buy a multi-region dvd player if you must - it's totally worth it.  Hysterical programme!

iPod.  Alex from work put the rest of my cds on it last night, now I'm going into toe-tapping over-drive!  My music includes - Queen, the Quo (i.e. Status Quo), mediaeval baebes (who I think ratty and lilly would love), various recordings of the rocky horror show (dammit janet), Vivaldi, Monty Python, Disney tunes, Limahal, Simon and Garfunkel, modern and classic jazz, film soundtracks (labyrinth/princess bride/ grease), Gwen Stefani, Christina Aguilera, My Chemical Romance; OutKast, american Gangsta rap (not many of those, admittedly), Eternal, Right Said Fred, Madonna, Clannad and Enya, Classical music, chillout songs and of course a healthy selection of Andrew Lloyd Webber.  I rock!  Oh, and Abba / Beautiful South.  So at the moment I'm being torn between being a sweet transvestite, leaping around like a loon to the austin powers soundtrack or being both of them from Abba to the tune of Waterloo!

Keep having flat days - the sort of days where you experience neither highs nor lows.  The good news is that my newsradio dvd finally arrived today, so me and Si will be watching that this evening.  So excited about that.  and my camera is fixed - my beautiful, wonderful Pentax K1000 that I love so much.  Can wait to get some decent photography going.  Might go to the graveyard this weekend.

My problem is, I think, that there is so much I want to do and I have so little time or energy to do them.  I have a lot of hobbies on the go - painting, drawing, writing, poetry, embroidery, photography.  But sometimes I feel as though I'm a little half-assed with them.  Sometimes I just want my projects to be done and to be perfect.  Most evenings I just bum around on the computer waiting to go to bed. The only three hobbies I'll ever put any time or forethought into is my writing and drawing.  So desperately want to set up my darkroom, but not really any money to get the equipment.

Just checked my bank statement.  Have more money than I thought.  Am going to have to go shopping.  Just won an auction on ebay for a super cool zoom lens for my Pentax K1000 - have decided it's time to get back into the photography scene.  I'm a photographer - that was my miner degree at uni, black and white photography.  Without meaning to blow my own trumpet, I'm fucking excellent.  So anyway, have decided to set up a darkroom in my spare room.  It involves planning.  I'm very excited.

Turns out Si was upset because I pushed passed him in the morning to run outside and have a fag, and slammed the door in his face.  Didn't realise - was too concerned about having my morning fag.  No wonder he was hurt.  We're cool now.

Well, me and Si went to Eurodisney this weekend - I'm now too scared to check my bank statement, particularly my credit card.  Been spending like a drunken yuppie these last few weeks.  Thank God I get a bonus from work next month, boy-howdy do I need it!

We spent a loooong friggin time on the coach, but it wasn't so bad.  Plus we got to play on the ferry for two hours, which basically entailed me smoking like a bastard in the bar at 3am.  We got to Paris at 6.30am and promptly made our way to the magic kingdom.  Well, it was a blast.  The weather was hot and nice and the smell of popcorn filled the air.  Simon managed to persuade me to go on Thunder Mountain twice, although the second time round was the only time I really enjoyed it.  That time we both pulled faces like Blakey from on The Buses all the way 'round, so that our pics would be really funny.  We also went on the startours ride, where I shouted at some french people (lack of sleep make Sham go crazy!!!) and we also went on the Phantom Manor (please read my poem about it!!!!) and the ride broke down in front of the grim grinning ghosts, which was awesome.  I took a sneaky pic.  Later on I also met Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch) and got my photo taken with him!!!! Yay!!

Got back to London 5 o'clock yesterday morning but had to wait outside for an hour before the train station opened, then had to wait another 2 hours for the train ride home.  Slept most of the day afterwards, but was well worth it!!!

Spongebob Squarepants is the best film!  It's so mad and such a giggle.  Derfel liked it.

Had another nightmare that woke me up at 6am again - this time I dreamt that Si had had a heart attack and died.  Took me 25 minutes to stop crying hysterically.  Wondering why I've had two such dreams in as many nights.

Ai came over for tea last night.  I cooked spaghetti (that traditional English dish).  She is such a giggle - a real crazy laugh.  I like her very much.

Hobbes is trying to learn how to talk.  He sits in his cage most nights either watching me or watching the television (he likes Terry Jones' Medieval Lives and Tenko) and he mutters the whole time, working his little mouth non-stop.  It's very very cute - like he's giving a commentary.  We've also noticed the others have started doing it too.  So funny to watch - RiffRaff used to be a mutterer.

Dreamt last night me and Si were about to gey married, but I was constantly held up on my way to the church.  I didn't have time to wear my makeup or style my hair, and wore black trousers under my dress.  I tried to get to the church on a motor bike but instead was in a crash.  Eventually I realised I wasn't going to make it so went to hide in Si's house.  After a while all of his friends and family came in (and my family too) and I was so so frightened to see them after they thought I'd jilted him.  They wouldn't look at me, they were so angry.  Then I saw Si and he wouldn't look at me either.  We were both crying and I explained what had happened and he hugged me and rebooked the wedding.

Woke up and hugged Si, wouldn't let him go.