Just got back from a weekend away with the family.  Just me, Si went to stay with his clan. On the whole it was fun, other than my mum confiding in me the troubled secrets of her marriage.  I love my mum so much, I like that she can confide in me.  I know she likes to because I'm nice and i'm sensible and she loves that about me.  But still so hard.  Still, I'd rather she came to me than bottle it up.

My dad is so difficult.  I love him to pieces, but our relationship has only become anything in the last few years.  He has a terrifying temper and I bow down to him over anything.  Then I moved out and he missed me so much he doesn't pick on me anymore.  We are so alike, but I am such a calm, laid-back person.  With him I feel only stress keeps him together.  He gets unnaturally worked up over everything, quite scary to be around.  I feel for mum and Al, my sister.  I do wish Al would move into her own place, I really worry for her.  He picks on her something rotten.  She slept with a guy she really liked, who dumped her the next week.  Al is not a slapper - she's 22 and has only slept with two people.  She was feeling down and vulnerable, so dad screamed and shouted at her and called her a whore and a slag.  I know he calls me and my other sister that too when we're not around.  I cried at the weekend and asked mum why he hates us so much.  I don't think it's that so much, but he's a control freak, and he cannot stand the thought of not being able to control me or my sisters.  There's so so much more I want to write down here, but I'm scared to.

Mum has lost a whole load of weight.  She's looking fabulous, I'm really proud of her.  She's been big for a while, and while I couldn't care less I can see how happy it's making her.  She looks great.

As a result of the weekend, I abused my credit cards big-style yesterday.  Bought a recordable dvd player and a gameboy advance for Si.  I also booked us a mini-break to Paris, La la la!  Can't wait.  Gonna go Disneyland!

Derfel is back in with his boys now.  His wound's clearing nicely - he doesn't seem impeded by it at all (that a real word?).  He's picked the scab off, true, but the wound hasn't re-opened. I'm very pleased.

As for me - well, my tootsies are on the mend too. They still look mingin' but I don't have to wear bandages any more and the infection seems to have cleared up.  They still throb though.

have just discovered a divine deli round the corner from work - huge hot beef sarnie being gobbled as i type hence lack of capitals and proper punctuation.  not crappy processed meat either, but big fat carvery loveliness. not cheap either, so will be a rare treat.

word of advice - if you're ever doing a search for the word morgue in yahoo, make sure you don't accidentally click on image search. i nearly vommited on the spot.

there's a huge porn superstore on oxford street.

took derfel's cone off yesterday - he's very pleased.

my toenails look very gross. they've been cut in half down the middle of each big toe, so i have half a toenail on each one.  still throbbing.  still can't bear to look at them.

Gonna be meeting ratty in 4 hours - so excited, so excited.  It's certainly helping me get through the day!

I'm getting my toenails removed tomorrow.  Not looking forward to that.  Goodness knows how I'm going to get home afterwards.  Fingers crossed it won't be too bad.

I'm not going to be at work again until Tuesday now, because of those toes, so I'm unlikely to update this til then (though do check, just in case :) ) Also, we might be getting a new computer so god knows how long it'll take me to figure it all out.

Had fun with Ai last night.  Si came too, there was a lot of laughter.  Ai is so sweet, so funny and I really make her laugh.  As a natural born comic, it's nice to have an appreciative audience!

Started trying to read the Da Vinci Code a few weeks ago, have finally abandoned it.  The fact is, in my opinion, it's shit.  I mean, I'm sure the plot is very good (not that I really got that far) but the writing is so poor - one gets the feeling a Mills and Boon hack could have had the same affect.  It's pulp fiction, to be blunt - one of the first chapters actually ends with the words 'It was going to be a very long night'.  I mean, how cliched is that.  I dunno, I'm such a literary snob, but I was expecting it to be more of an Ian McEwan style - a potential A-level text, if you will.  Clearly it's designed for the hoi polloi to read, which probably explains it's appeal (says the woman writing a kiddies book).

I plan to give up smoking this weekend.  I'm getting narky just at the thought of it.  Things which piss me off today include:

The 60+ year old lawyer I saw zipping past my building on a mini-scooter.

The fact that there is a lollipop lady on my way to work who stands at her post...right next to a zebra crossing.  She's there veryday and I've not once seen her help any kid across the road because they use the crossing.  I mean, what's the bloody point!!!!!

I'm getting a lot of direct hits on this blog and my weirdwideweb blog, which means people are directly typing in my uRL to get to my page, which means that I have a fan base of people who do not leave comments!   Oooooh.  I always love looking at the referrers, I've gotta start listing them, they can be really funny.  But I like the idea of people regularly watching my life from afar, not intruding.  And I really like the idea of people liking my humour blog.  Which reminds me - can those who read this blog please please link to the weird wide web blog from their accounts: I really want to increase my traffic.

Thanks Dan and Lynn for your encouragement r.e. my writing stories - it does mean a lot to me to know that you enjoy them.  It has spurred me on to get writing again, and I've now nearly completed my latest ratty story - the rats go to the North Pole (where Dervel is mistaken for a polar bear and befriends an arctic mouse, whilst in the meantime Snitch and Smurt are hunted down by a marauding band of...arctic mice!  Will Dervel be safe??? Course he will).

Going to meet Ai for a drink tonight - hopefully I won't be out to late.  I wanna finish my story.

Me and Si like playing top trumps.  It's a good laugh.  So lately we have devised our own celebrity version.  We've cut out pictures of our favourite celebrities (as diverse as David Spade to Brad Pitt; June Brown aka Dot Cotton to Orlando Bloom) and we have rated them in the following categories (numbers in brackets are the potential scores i.e. 'out of...):

1) looks (100)

2) Hair (10)

3)Talent (20)

4)Column Inches (10)

5) Ponce Factor (100)

6) Star Quality (10)

7) Charisma (50)

8) Fitness (10)

The point of the game is that the cards are divided out amongst the players and the turned over in a stack so you can't see what card is at the top.  The player who goes first calls one of the categories and whoever has the highest rated card wins the round and their opponents card.  The winner is the first person to accumulate all of the cards, or whoever has the most cards at the end of the game (if you want to play with a time limit).

Anyhow, it passes the time and it's a lot of fun.

Saw a bizarre sight yesterday, waiting at the train station to go into work.  A young fox, brazen as you like, was walking along the platform showing absolutely no fear of anyone there.  I recognised it as one of our three adult foxes - the eldest daughter I think, recognisable by her smaller frame, slightly mottled fur and slight limp.  She doesn't have a name, we just call her 'Eldest Daughter' - kinda like a Chinese hierarchy. It was so bizarre, she seemed in no hurry at all. Maybe she wanted to visit the west end.