RiffRaff was my God, but Derfel is my prince


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Daily Tip:
Anna's wedding
08.30.04 (4:30 am)   [edit]
Phew, it seems like I've been away forever, and not just 6 days. I've been staying with my parents because my little sister got married at the weekend and it's been very nice.
To start with, I finally stood up to my parents (via mum) about how I'm not happy with the way I'm treated. Whenever I visit I am very nice to my family but all I ever seem to get from them is criticism, about the way I look, the way I dress, my choices in life etc. Well, I am just fed up with it. I'm happier than I have been for a long time and I'm fed up of constantly being told I'm looking fat and how worried my parents are about me when they have absolutely no reason to be worried about me. Even mum had to admit that the family picked on me. I won't go into too many details because things settled down after that and I don't want to make myself all angry again, but it seems that my only role in the family nowadays is to be someone everyone else can have a go at whilst feeling justified about it because I'm on anti-depressants therefore I am clearly a failure at everything and therefore deserving of their scorn. I am my family's bitch; someone they can vent their frustration at. Well, no more. I told them that if it carries on I won't be back. I know I don't deserve that treatment. It's their wayof trying to maintain a hold on me while I move away.
Anyhow, after that things were great. Once more I was used to vent frustration on but after that things were fine. We went for a meal on friday night with all of our family, including my lovely uncles and aunts, cousins etc from the North! I am very fond of them; particularly my uncle Dave, who is the most sincere gentleman I've ever met. The meal was so much fun. then on Saturday it was Bedlam! So many people trying to get ready in such a small house (well, it seemed small on Saturday). Poor Si ended up having to skivvy for my mum, but we were all very grateful for his help. I had my hair done up in a loose bun with hair fanned over the top of my head - similar to the way I like to wear it normally but I must admit I prefer it when I do it (less hairspray necessary). 35 grips were used to keep it in place! Then we put on our dresses (mine had been altered for my expanding girth and I was worried I'd look awful, but I didn't). Then Anna got changed into her wedding dress - she looked amazing! So beautiful!
The wedding went without a hitch, although there were a few damp eyes (especially from me, Amy (Paul, the groom's, sister) Alex and mum and dad). But the ceremony was beautiful, as was the reception, and the evening do was a lot of fun. It was so wonderful to see so many friends and family in one room and I was busy chatting and dancing all night.
We got home this morning, very very tired. Yesterday we went to see Mrs Waite and she gave me some money to help with our move. We will go to London again tomorrow night - looking for more houses - and then, sadly, Si has a funeral to go to on Friday, although he may not be able to attend as his work might not be able to give him time off.
I will try to catch up with my blogging friends soon (hopefully today) but once more I'm going to plug my weirdwideweb site (linked to the left) as I've been adding stuff to it and having a lot of fun. Please do leave a comment!
 
Ratmagick
08.25.04 (4:00 pm)   [edit]
Hiya Ratmagick, can you tell me you're new blog address...can't seem to find it. xx
 
Help, please
08.24.04 (4:43 am)   [edit]
Hmmm, some questions:
1) How do I send an IM?
2) How do I send tbucks via an IM?

It's driving me batty!

Not been up to much today, just been to the osteopath and I've been updating my weirdwideweb blog (see link).
Gonna eat some chocolate and do some writing now...and maybe take a shower ;)
 
Shamisen's weekend.
08.23.04 (5:06 am)   [edit]
Ok, first of all I wanna know why my blogs aren't appearing in the 'Recent Blogs' list and why my page hits aren't being displayed on my user page. Methinks tblog is experiencing a few glitches.
Well, thanks to everyone for their congrats. It really has been a manic couple of days for me, flat hunting etc. Me and Si went to London at the weekend, looking specifically in Bromley, Kent. We didn't have much joy so we'll go up again after Anna's wedding. We saw 4 flats in all - 2 were plain and simply too small. One was really nice and big, in a lovely area, but sadly a little out of our price range (and the steps would be hell to navigate when moving in/after a few drinks/in the rain etc). The last flat we saw was amazing inside - we really liked it. 2 bedrooms, a study, a great kitchen hidden away and all the storage space that you could eat. Massive front room. But it was on the ground floor of an ex-council block (all privately owned now but the building looks hideous on the outside) and the windows looked a bit flimsy. It was gutting as the rent was very affordable too. However,|I rang the estate agent up this morning and he said that the landlord is going to fit double-glazing...so my interest has peaked again. Texted Si about it a few hours ago but he hasn't replied yet.
Another good thing is that there should be no probs taking the ratties with us. We've encountered no objections so far, which is such a big relief.
On the way home from London I had a manic episode (I've got manic depression, although prozac has really helped me and I'm feeling fabulous these days. I was really bubbly and hyper all day, then exhaustion and the crushing feeling of disappointment hit me big style. I cried solidly for about 3 hours (on the tube and on the train). We don't have money to waste (although dad in-law has made life a lot easier by giving us £500 - an early wedding present, what a sweetheart). I guess it took me and Si by surprise as I was in a right state and feeling very desperate. Si, bless him, gave me time to cry then just held my hand and said nice things. He managed to pull me out of that little cave I make for myself whenever I have an episode and things seemed a lot brighter. Then the train was delayed for 2 hours, which means we can claim back our travel costs - amen to that! We got free food and drink then the buffet manager came and scrounged some fags off me and gave us a bottle of wine and a bag full of crisps and cakes as a thankyou. It was great! Loads of fun - like a picnic. I was genuinely thrilled by our goodie bag (see, being a smoker does have a plus side!)
I've finally made a start on the blog under my links as Weird Wide Web (I think), which is going to be a very funny collection of amusing things I've found on the web, funny emails etc and links to funny/weird sites. Enjoy and, if you know of a funny website then let me know!
 
Hurrah!
08.19.04 (1:38 am)   [edit]
Excellent, excellent excellent news! I finally have a job! Got a phone call from my agent yesterday to say that the law firm I was interviewed at last week have given me an offer! I am on such an incredible high - it's such a relief to know I'll soon be working again. I'll probably have to start on the 20th Sept. That gives me a month to organise a move, so that should be ok (suddenly I'm in a very optimistic mood). Si and I will probably go up to London this weekend and hopefully by next week we'll have a flat!
I'm going to search the web now for letting agencies. Bye for now.
 
The funniest thing in the world is...
08.18.04 (12:29 am)   [edit]
feeding rats spaghetti.
 
Quick survey for Brits
08.17.04 (1:45 am)   [edit]
Do you watch Bad Girls? How old are you? Are you male or female? Why do you/don't you watch the programme?

Please answer even if you DON't watch Bad Girls as I need to build up profiles of viewers and non-viewers. It would also be helpful if you could include the members of your household. Please put your answers in the comment box but I'm afraid only Brits need answer this one.
 
So poor
08.15.04 (11:24 pm)   [edit]
God, why do I let my debit card get the better of me. Just worked out I have about £15 (after bills and money to put into savings) to live on for 2 weeks. That means I'm back to smoking stinking rollies that won't go out make my fingers turn yellow and give me a sore chest and other such things. Ah well. I'll have to get used to this for when I'm really broke, like next month! I'm trying very hard not to think at the moment: thinking frightens me.
Basically I have 2 things freaking me out. On the one hand there's the fact I don't have a job and very very soon I will stop being paid. On the other hand there's the thought that if I get the job I went for last week I will have 3 weeks to organise a move to London. I can't believe I'm going to be poor again when I've spent so long trying hard to claw my way out of poverty. So that's why I'm trying very hard to close my brain up. It's not really working so far.
 
Black Sludge
08.13.04 (6:08 am)   [edit]
After a night of rain (although, not the heaviest rain in the world) Si and me left the house yesterday to find our road and pavements covered in thick black sludge. It was quite like an oil spill, although there was no oil smell. There were footprints through it and it looked like the pavement had collapsed (although that was just because the sludge had risen to the same height as the curb.) Still have no -idea what it was, although when I came back from London late last night it had all been cleared up. sewerage? maybe, but with no sewerage smell either.
I had a good time in London yesterday, although by the end of the day my legs could barely push me forward. I went to Camden town, which only made me feel incredibly old and out of date, and I also went to Foyles and Borders (my site of pilgrimige) for some heavy-duty book buying. I would love to have my own bookstore, a bit like Shakespeare and Co in Paris only cleaner, less cramped and sans smelly cat/flies. There is a new writers and artists handbook out which I will buy soon as there is an edition especially for children's writers. I would love to write a fab adult novel but I don't know if I have the ability. Some good books out at the moment though.
 
What Freud thinks of me
08.09.04 (3:45 am)   [edit]
Freudian Inventory Results
Genital (16%) you appear to have a pessimistic and regressive outlook on life.
Latency (73%) you may be using learning as an escape from living.
Phallic (66%) you appear to have issues with controlling your sexual desires and possibly fidelity.
Anal (63%) you appear to be overly self controlled, organized, and subservient to authority.
Oral (63%) you appear to be overly passive and dependent, wanting things to be given to you instead of working for them.
Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com



Think I agree with all but the 'You have issues with fidelity' analysis.
 
What a crappy day.
08.09.04 (3:19 am)   [edit]
I wake up. I phone the student loans company. I'm put on hold for 20 minutes. I get through but I'm still not really much clearer on the matter and anyway, I can barely understand the guy who's speaking to me. I go on-line and find 6 exciting-looking jobs. I apply for 2, email 2 more for further information then find that the other 2 are based in Washington DC (and this wasn't specified on my search of London jobs because...?) I go to buy Anna's wedding present, only to discover that it's been sold and they're not getting any more in. I go to the doctors to pick up my prescription and I'm fobbed off by the receptionist who tells me it's not ready yet (even though I handed it in 7 days previously) and I'm sure I hear her whispering to the other receptionist that I must be taking more than one tablet per day (I'm not - I only get a month's supply at a time but I think my Dr has forgotten this). I compose a long, loving text to Anna then discover I don't have her mobile number. My back hurts, I feel dizzy and tired because I didn't get to sleep 'til 5am and I am SO PISSED OFF!!!!!
 
God I'm feeling weird
08.08.04 (6:59 pm)   [edit]
Or should that be God I'm feeling wired? It's 4am exactly so what the hell am I doing awake and on-line no less? Well, I'm feeling anxious and crappy and sleepy but I've slept today and that means now I'm grumpy...but none of the other seven dwarves.
So now I'm job hunting. Found about 7 to apply for, so maybe I'll be able to sleep now.
 
My feedback
08.06.04 (12:21 am)   [edit]
Finally got feedback r.e. the job I went for 2 weeks ago. I think it was really positive: here it is.

We liked G**** CV - it was very clear, contained all the relevant details and her statement of intent was excellent and a very useful summary. When it came to her skills section she might consider bullet pointing this so interviewers can see everything at a glance. As for the interview, she came across well and answered all the questions clearly, we also liked her honesty when it came to her teaching background and the reasons why she left it. Unfortunately, there was a stronger candidate for the post

I was a bit concerned that I fluffed it by being honest about the reasons for leaving, so knowing that they specifically highlighted that for commendation was a good thing.

I'm going to try and get a job with a granny mag. It hit me last night that what I want to do more than anything is write professionally. I'll admit that this wasn't exactly a bolt-out-of-the-blue moment, but I hadn't thought of applying to them before and yet it would be my ideal job. I'm not sure how to approach it though; I have no professional experience, despite my strong skills. Still, worth a shot.
Failing that, I'd like to work at a zoo...but dad would probably class that as yet another reason why I'm ruining my life.
 
I love Hobbes
08.02.04 (1:23 am)   [edit]
The baby rat has been called Hobbes (as in Calvin and Hobbes). He's such a little sweetheart. He's got to be the friendliest, tamest rattie I've ever met. He's also exceptionally lazy. Having said that, when I take him out of his cage he wants to play (he thinks he's a kitten...a cat kitten, that is). I chase him with my hand and he tries to pounce on it. When he catches my hand he nibbles it oh-so-gently or he licks it. If i catch him I (gently) push him onto his back and tickle his tummy. He must like it because he keeps coming back for more.
Derfel isn't too impressed by Hobbes. I think he sees him as a threat. I've introduced the pair now and Derfel keeps trying to get away from him, which is a shame because Hobbes desperately wants to make friends with Derfel.
No other plans for today, except that I'll probably play with ratties. Tomorrow I'm going to my parents overnight to have bridesmaidy things done, then I'll come back on Wednesday morning. That's it really.
Bye for now.